Thursday, October 29, 2009

Sebastien the Shih Tzu

S’s bowl is empty!

Sebastien, “S” is what we call him. A fourteen pound Shih Tzu heavyweight. Always fuzzy, whether long haired like a mop or trimmed to resemble a white rat; a cute rascal at any time.

When Mr S first arrived, he soon establish himself as the dude with an attitude. My wife and I are aware that a prompt and steady supply of food and water is a dog’s pay for being cute. This of course is besides the morsels of reward received after performing his daily rituals at selected spots in the yard.
Lo, forbid it however, if a careless adult should fail to promptly fill an empty water or food bowl! The display of indignation on Mr S’s part can rival creations of the worlds most talented theater directors.
His first act is the crumpling the nearby throw rug into a heap against the wall. Next, the bowl that dared not to supply, will be raked into a corner and properly addressed until it is flipped up-side-down.
If the neglect is still not attended to within Mr S’s narrow time of tolerance, he will not hesitate to reveal his agitation by radically confronting the small waste basket. Soiled tissues soon become confetti. Dryer lint, mixed with the confetti, will adorn the tile floor in a six foot radius.
Still snorting from lint in his nose, bug-eyed from hypertension, and chest pumped with rage, Mr S will return to the living room and stand staring until one of the zombie adults gets the hint.
One can imagine if such depravity arose while the caretakers were out of the house!
Well, first, one would not be greeted with a cocked head and cute expression asking, “Where is my deserved treat for guarding the house?” Nor would our precious child be dancing around our ankles just glad to see us home. No! Mr S would have the toilet paper on display, unravelled in an unbroken stream, from the holder on the wall, out the bathroom, under the cracked door, around the corner, all the way to the kitchen, as if to say, “Incase you do not understand, follow the white, perforated road to the problem at hand! You got that?”