Amazing What Wax Can Do

.
A car is an impersonal machine. A vehicle that is practical, useful and needed in rural America.

However, it has never become an idol with me. An idol that would take away time from family and conversation.

In the 56 years in this country, I can count on one hand how many times I've washed a car. I clean out the inside every decade or so, but wash the outside? . . .

Nothing washes the car better than driving the thing during a good down-pour. The rain will clean the underside better than any rented hose at a carwash.

The last time I washed my truck was in 2005 when I drove the thing, at thirty miles an hour, through Elk Creek. The shame of all this is, I couldn't do that again, they built a bridge over the creek. (Shovel ready).

Now here is a worthy saying: WHEN MOMMA AIN'T HAPPY, NOBODY IS HAPPY!

My wife likes a clean car. Good! We got a hose and a bucket. But, sometimes she wants the car REALY clean. Washed, polished, shined, waxed, armor-alled and such. I cringe at the cost, but Mamma must be happy.

$95 later the results are stunning. Frank's Super Shine did a good job. Airplanes flying over had to divert their route because of the glare. People at church only approached with sunglasses. The squirrels in the yard thought an extra terrestrial mobile had landed.

At one point I thought the whole car vanished. To prove it was still there, I took a picture. My theory, an object must be present if you can see yourself in it.

Now, what is the summary of my yarn?

Point one. When Carol picked up the Yukon, and stepped on the running board, she slipped and whacked her head on the door. . . . Good wax job!

Point two. Before the recent rain sprinkled on the new wax-job, it reduced the drag on the vehicle. The astounding result was, we actually got .0004 more miles per gallon.

Point three. The fellows at Super Shine also got rid of six years of petrified smog from the INSIDE of the windshield. I can now discern the difference between a bird bomb and a bug hitting the windshield.

Carol may be sitting a bit taller, smiling, feeling proud. As for me, I hope this venture will not repeat for five years or more. . . .  unless Mamma ain't happy!

.